Say Something
by Ashesofthesoul
Summary: "Say something... anything..." (Germancest, based on Say Something. Major character death)


"Say something! Dammit, don't just sit there! Look at me… _Look at me!_ "

How could Gilbert simply remain as he was, sitting in that damned chair with his head down, hands curled around one another in his lap, his demeanor calm? Ludwig didn't see the flinch, didn't see how his beloved brother bite roughly at his lip. No, he was past seeing those things now.

"Ludwig, you know this is for the best." His voice was quiet, so unlike the imposing noise Ludwig had missed these past weeks. It took everything in the albino to force the words to fall from his lips, praying silently that his voice remained steady and did not shake with the weight of his pain. God, why did this have to be so hard? How had he ever thought that this would go easily? It wasn't as though the Prussian wanted this either, but it was for the best. He'd been selfish long enough. Ludwig's anger pierced his heart like a knife, cutting far deeper than any wound he had ever known. ' _Don't cry. Don't cry, Gilbert. You have to be strong, to get through this. It's for Ludwig."_

"Don't. Don't you _dare_ say that to me. Tell me you've found someone else. That I was never enough to begin with. That this was some sick kind of game. Those I can handle. But don't you fucking dare tell me this is for the best. Whose best, Gilbert? Whose best is this for? Yours maybe. Certainly not mine!" The blonde grit his teeth as he vainly tried to keep from exploding, from doing more damage to this situation. His fingers curled into tight balls at his side, clutched against himself. Squeeze, hold, release. Squeeze, hold, release. He could feel his knuckles going white from the exertion, but he just didn't have it in him to care anymore.

And then, in a small, quiet whimper-

"I loved you. I _love_ you. Only you. You were the only one I ever opened up and trusted enough… you were my brother… the only one I knew I was safe with, the only one I could trust. What did I do? Why are you hurting me like this? Whatever it is, I can change, I swear I can!"

Oh God, how that shattered Gilbert and threatened to break his resolve! He visibly reeled back, wincing slightly, his own fingers curling tighter around themselves, nails running along the sides of his hands. "Ludwig, please. Please, I'm begging of you, don't make this any harder than it has to be. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life in some sort of twisted, immoral relationship with your brother? It was wrong of me to start this. Selfish of me. Just one more thing to damn me, I suppose, but I…" _I was so selfish. How could I have sullied such a pure, untainted angel? Someone full of only care? Why did I have to drag you to hell with me?_ "... I'm sorry. This is what's best." _Especially now._

After all, it would be better to break his brother now than break him with what was to come, wouldn't it? Surely he was making the right decision for the first time in his godforsaken life.

No, no, no. This wasn't happening. This was just a bad dream. This _had_ to be just a bad dream! Clutching his head desperately, Ludwig's eyes narrowed. He wouldn't let this happen. "Shut up. Just shut up! God, all you ever do is talk, and the shit you spew is… is… " The younger of the two never finished that sentence, instead reaching out to cup his brothers face and leaning down to press their lips together in an aching, pleading kiss, rough and searching. Blue eyes roamed his brothers face, meeting reluctant crimson, trying in vain to find anything to hold onto, any sign that this was nothing more than a cruel joke.

Instead, he was met with a blank stare.

Pulling back, he bit his lip roughly, face hardening as his jaw set, shoulders squaring. "Fine. I guess this is it. I won't forgive you for this, Gilbert. Understand that when I walk through that door, I won't be coming back." A ragged sigh escaped his lips, feet like lead as he forced himself to turn, making his way to the door.

He didn't look back. He couldn't let himself, forcing his eyes forward. The door clicked behind him, leaving only the sound of his own breathing.

The snow was quiet and peaceful as it drifted from the sky, settling in soft blonde locks and on porcelain cheeks. Blue eyes raised to the sky as Ludwig shoved his hands in his pockets. Cold nipped at his fingertips, but the German didn't seem to notice. He couldn't understand. Why was he still hurting so badly? It had been months, and he'd sworn to himself that he'd get over what had happened. That he didn't need Gilbert, that maybe he never had. And yet he remained stuck in the same rut, the same bleak, depressed routine. Nothing brought him joy any more, nothing warmed his heart.

All he could do was survive.

And some days, he supposed, that was the best anyone could ask for. Gilbert's voice haunted him, memories of when they were happy, of when Ludwig felt cherished tainting everything around him. There was no where he could go that he was not reminded of the elder. No solace from the freezing ache in his chest. It was as though a very piece of him remained in his brother's hands, even now. He wasn't sure that would ever go away.

He was jarred from his thoughts by the ringing of his phone, the shrill noise bringing him back to reality. Lifting it to his ear, Ludwig gave a curt greeting, polite yet disinterested, fully expecting it to be work, or perhaps a salesperson again.

It was neither.

And as he listened, his heart clenched in disbelief, he dropped to his knees in the snow, clutching the phone to his ear. Nothing could have possibly prepared him. It was just another joke, just another terrible joke! And yet, deep down, he knew it wasn't, even as the sombre voice on the other end turned to white noise in his ears.

The tears slid silently down his face and froze, their sharp bite leaving pained tracks of red on Ludwig's cheeks. He didn't even notice.

It still didn't feel quite real. Clad in a pristine black suit, not a hair out of place on his head, Ludwig knew it was. It was just too much to process, too agonizing to believe. Even here, seeing the man he had once given all of himself to lying so still in that black cedar box, he didn't want to accept it. Any moment now, Gilbert would open his eyes, and laugh at him for his weakness. Surely, just any second…

Yet the albino's eyes remained closed, his chest perfectly still. Like he were carved out of the most beautiful marble, a monument to perfection itself.

Ludwig couldn't stop himself from reaching a large hand out, fingers brushing the bangs back off of his brother's forehead, tears welling up in his eyes as a choked sob fell from his lips. "Say something…" He whispered pleadingly, even as he leaned down to rest his head against his love's cold one. "Please Gilbert…. open your eyes and look at me…"

Silence, as he knew there would be.

"Why couldn't you have told me…? If I had known you were sick… why did you make me leave? I would have stood by you… God, I would have done anything for you, followed you to the ends of the earth… but now it's too late. Why did you have to suffer alone? I should have known… I'm sorry I didn't save you… I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry…" The words fell over and over from his lips as he broke down, fingers curled around Gilbert's cold one, the ache in his chest growing with each passing second.

"Say something…."


End file.
